This I know

 The walk

When I was very young, less than 1yr old, we moved to Corpus Christi. Some of my very first memories are from our life there.  One of those memories was that every Sunday mom would dress my sister and I in coordinating dresses and walk with us down the street and across the overpass to Ebony Acres Baptist church.  One Sunday while we were in children’s church of some form, during the invitation I followed my sister to the front of the room to be saved.  I wasn’t saved that day. I was told that I was too young, and I was sent back to my chair alone. I crawled under the chair and hid.  They were right. I knew Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so but I didn’t know Jesus loves me he who died, heavens gates to open wide.  

A few years later we moved to Beckville and we attended the community church, New Prospect.  I wasn’t saved there either but I did my best fighting there. As a matter of fact it was there that I learned the second verse: he will wash away my sins let his little child come in.  But I also learned to resist and to fight and to stall and to run. At that time I told myself, they will send me to my seat again. That lie helped to minimize the conviction, but after a while I had to make up new lies to tell myself.  

Lies like: 

I’m as good as Becky Or David Or Elaine. 

I never get in real trouble at home. 

I’ll do it when I’m grown. 

I need to go to the bathroom now. 

Next week.  

I don’t know what they will say when I get up there. 

I’m not smart enough.

And my most spiritually advanced lie: 

I will have one more chance once Jesus comes back. That is what the Bible says, right?

I kicked hard.  Maybe you have done the same thing.  Maybe you still are.  

I was actually saved at age 15 when a volleyball coach invited several of us to go to revival at her church.  Like most teens, I was just going to be around my friends and because I thought the coach was cool.  

I don’t remember the evangelist’ name or what he preached. I just remember that I had run out of excuses. The invitation song seemed to be long and loud.  My friend, Tamara was sitting in front of me. She turned and said “I’m going, you want to go?”  I think I beat her to the front. 

What happened next? I immediately had a burden for those like me who fought. I had a desire to know more than I did. But mostly I had “that moment”.  

Have you ever cried so hard that you gasped and sucked to get air and as you did your shoulders dropped and your muscles relaxed and you felt your heart beat and you let the air expelled from your lungs. That’s the way I felt after I was saved. All that I was trying to hold was released and I could breathe.  

I want you to know that you can release and breathe.  You can know the whole song: Jesus loves me. He will stay close beside me every day. If I’ve loved him when I die he will take me home on high.  

Yes, Jesus loves you.