the hickey

I have always encouraged open dialect with my children. Though sometimes it can be painful and regretful I have had two major rules when it comes to healthy conversation. Rule one is say whatever you want but say it respectfully. It is my belief that a one sided conversation is only a lecture. I need feedback especially if I am correcting a behavior. Perhaps I only know one portion of the story, perhaps the details will change my mind or the outcome. Tell me your side but please tell me in a way I can receive it, politely as if I am ignorant to the facts not as if I am stupid. Open up respectfully so that I can understand. It's important to me. Just as important to me is rule two. I remember this example from when Angel was small. He was our first child to enter kindergarten and he stepped boldly into the bilingual class at Gibson Elementary in Corpus Christi. It became apparent that all of the words he used had a slightly different twist to them. It was nothing earth shaking but it was at that time we determined the need to establish rule two. If you don't know the meaning of a word, ask and know before you use it. Angel was a smart boy and really looked for ways to increase his vocabulary. I remember very well one day as we drove from the elementary school toward town he asked, "what's a hickey?" Oh, my! I took a deep breath and immediately remembered a preacher's wife that used to have very obvious hickeys on different occasions. "well." I started the conversation slowly trying to tell a 8 year old boy what a red mark on someone's neck was, why it got there, and what it means. I did a bang up job! After I finished my scattered explanation he asked, "is that what Mrs. Kelly (name changed to protect the not so innocent) has on her neck?" With no way to avoid it, reluctantly, I affirmed. He sat quietly for a few more miles. I could see the brain gears clogging with wonder. "Mom." He said. " why do they call Jordan that when he wears his boots?" I never look at a splotchy red neck without thinking about that day. Today, on the Eve of Valentines day, please evaluate the enclosed picture, find your state and be sure you buy your Valentine the most regional expected gift. http://www.wideopencountry.com/map-shows-most-googled-valentines-gifts-in-every-state/