Can Opener Christmas 

Years ago, like 40 years ago, we bought my mom a can opener for Christmas. She did not want a can opener for Christmas. No one wants a can opener, or a vacuum cleaner, or a mixer for Christmas. Those are wedding shower gifts.  Parenthetically, I still have and use the hand mixer gifted to me 36 years ago. (Thanks, Mark and Gail.). 

It became a family joke all through the gifting season. Everyone laughed except Mom. She refused to even think of it.  When the day finally arrived we were all festively around the living room, the tree was lit, and the gifts scattered. 

I wish that I remembered more of the details in the right order.  It was a beautiful moment. We bought Mom a countertop electric can opener and wrapped it in holiday paper. 

My dad, who was the OG jokester, had bought her a simple and gorgeous opal necklace.  He liked to surprise her with things like that. In case you were not privileged to see the dynamic of their relationship firsthand, Mom was the practical one who loved it when Daddy doted on her with the unpractical gifts. A match made in heaven.  

The necklace was not wrapped but sealed in a gift can.  This was a novelty wrapping service provided in the Longview Mall at that time. 

I think she cried a little when she saw the can.  She knew that she was getting a can opener. 

As I said I don’t think I remember the details in the right order but she attempted to open the can with a key change military issued can opener that my dad carried. She was not able to open it. He came to the rescue. She reached in to find the necklace. She cried.  

If you have read any of my other blogs you know that I love few things more than a good analogy.  I could draw so many conclusions here like: 

1. Accept the gifts you are given as tools to achieve greater happiness 
2. What you want and what you need are connected by those you love. 
3. Christmas shenanigans, bullying in love.  

Ok. That last one was weak.  

This year my mom and I both needed a can opener. The hand crank devices, or my hands, were failing. I was on the shopping prowl for an old school electric countertop can opener. I will simply use it then return it to its place out of sight in the cabinet. I don’t love it but I do it for the toaster. I can make it work for the sake of green beans and carrots.  

I couldn’t find the dinosaur. I shopped the usual places, Walmart and Target, but found none. Not one. I did, however, find a battery operated handheld device. I bought two. One for me and one for Mom. 

I put mine in the drawer in the kitchen but I wrapped hers and put it under the tree.  

She cried and as she did she recounted the story of that Christmas years ago. She, like me, couldn’t remember all of the details but she remembered the necklace. She told my kids and their kids about the can and the necklace.  

Some stories are worth remembering, reliving and repeating. Tell your children, and their children about your love for God. Tell them about being enslaved and in bondage to sin. Tell them about restoration and forgiveness. Tell them in song and story and example. 

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

4.Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:

5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

6 ¶ And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

As far as the great can opener Christmas here is my big take away. It’s not always about recreating the moment. Sometimes it’s just about retelling the story.

 

Have you ever wondered if you were raising the weird kid?  You know that kid at school that is so different from the others.  He will never be Prom King or class favorite.  He won’t play varsity sports.  Oh my goodness, what if he is on the year book staff or in One Act Play?  Horrors!  He won’t even get a date to the prom!

Please do not take offense.  I am being intentionally facetious. 

Years ago at a high school pep rally the cheerleaders had organized a game for the senior boys.  This is a small town school with only around 10 boys per class, most were athletes.  The game was basically for the amusement of the viewers in the bleachers.  Each senior boy was blindfolded, spun around for confusion and then released to the gym floor to do a  mine sweep of sorts.  However, there was one evil little twist to the game.  All of the senior athletes removed their eye coverings leaving one kid to make his way across the gym with a broom.  The bleachers roared with excitement.  He fumbled.  They cheered.  He went the wrong way.  They jeered.  

After the completion of the event, of which there was no winner, the good natured young man smiled as he removed his mask.  He entered the group of classmates with high fives and smug grins.  I didn’t know this kid well enough to know how he was impacted by this game.  I don’t know if he was embarrassed or liked the attention.  I don’t know if he was a jokester himself.  I don’t know if he was masking humiliation or if he was genuinely jovial.  

As I was leaving the gymnasium that afternoon one of the teachers that I knew personally stopped me.  She thought the game was tacky and humiliating to that young man.  He’s a good kid, she said.  She was offended on his behalf.  I respected her outlook but told her what i saw was a kid that showed good character and dignity.  He was a good sport and a great example to the team he wasn’t part of. 

Rumor and Gossip

Sometimes I use these terms interchangeably and in error.  Consider these two phrases: 

“Spreading gossip” and “spreading rumors”.  While the talent for, or inclination of spreading either is not a character trait likely to be highlighted on my LinkedIn profile, they are different.  By definition, a rumor is an unverified “truth”.  If you are spreading rumors you are retelling tales that may or may not be true. Don’t tell yourself that you were punked into believing it were true.  That level of self righteous denial only changes you from spreader of rumor to a spreader of gossip.  Gossip is, by definition, talking about people or instances that are true.  

Wait that doesn’t seem like a bad thing.  Can i put that on my resume?  I only talk about things that are true. Maybe, but the definition continues to use qualifying words like intent, malice, betrayal, hurt, private, and the like.  

What does the Bible say about rumors and gossip? 

Ephesians 4:29-31 

Proverbs 10:19; 20:19; 16:28

Romans 1:29-32

Matt 12:36

These are only a few.  I hope you look up a couple or Google “what does the Bible say about gossip” and get a much longer list.  If you are reading this I probably don’t have to convince you that gossip, regardless of verification or truthfulness, is harmful. 

Though it doesn’t seem so at this point on the page, my intent was not to blast you with Surgeon General type warning on the affects of gossiping.  I really got on here to spread some information, verified, non habit forming, encouraging information.  

This week I was thinking about my kids, as i often do.  I have been out of town for a few days, and I missed seeing them at lunch on Sunday.  Also, I have missed some of the touch points I would normally have during the week.  That always makes me think about them more intentionally. 

I have three incredible sons.  I am so proud of them.  They make me joyful; beyond happy.  

For I rejoiced greatly, when the brethren came and testified of the truth that is in thee, even as thou walkest in the truth.  I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.  I John 3: 3-4

This is the verse that i have been digging around in this week.  I won’t say that i have completed a word study on the scripture but i have meditated on the these words this week.  I have seen something that I had overlooked previously.  I read  “hear that my children walk in truth” differently. 

Walk in Truth:  The word truth is used 17 times in the short seven chapters of I, II, and III John.  Seems to be a primary focus.  Truth, the Truth, is so important.  We would all agree on that.  Walking in truth is important.  Knowing the truth is great! Living the truth is incredible! That’s how the Truth becomes visible.  

But here is what I heard: “to hear” 

I am Godly proud of my kids, my stinking grown up little boys.  The boys that ran in the house when I wasn’t looking.  The boys that even now, giggle slightly around the Sunday lunch table to secrets they are still holding.  The boys that fought with each other like mortal enemies for a solid decade.  The boys that huddled together in storms, that fought over the TV remote, and that secretly cried for each other.  The boys that I dressed in matching Easter and Christmas outfits year after year.  The same boys that broke my special nativity camel’s legs off, spilled permanent gold paint on my bedroom floor, and rode a storage tote down the carpeted stairs like a luge in the Winter Olympics.  That’s them!  

These are the boys that bring me no greater joy!  I think I raised the weird kids.  I hope that I did.  

We tell the stories and we laugh mostly but the greatest joy is attributed to hearing.  I don’t want gossip and rumors to be flying around about my boys but to hear someone testify to the walk of my children, there is no greater joy.  

Help me not to spread gossip or rumors.  Help me to encourage others by testifying of the walk in truth of those around me. Help me to spread joy.  

 

In what do you put your faith?

I woke up about 3:30am to see a text message on my phone that I had not noticed before I went to bed.  As a general rule I don’t get up and look at my phone in the middle of the night but sometimes I glance to make sure that it is not something urgent.  My phone is on silent so if I don’t get up to go to the restroom or stretch or straighten my pajamas in the wee hours I would not know that I had been contacted. 

The text was from a former coworker, a friend and a fellow Christian. It simply read, “how did you get the courage to leave”.  It took all I had to lay the phone down.  I wanted to address it right then.  I wanted to fight the fight.  I wanted to lift my friend up in encouragement and boldness.  I wanted to help them see what I saw.  Instead I laid the phone down, went to the bathroom and returned to bed.  I couldn’t sleep so I responded briefly and laid the phone face down on the bedside table.

Let me tell you a story.  I will give you the abbreviated version for two reasons.  1. It’s a long story and 2.  I may have misplaced some of the details through the years. 

That guy I live with and I had determined that we were able to cut a tree that was in our yard.  Specifically a large sweetgum tree that was growing only feet from our house. Beyond the fact that we were not lumberjacks by trade, we simply did not have the tools for such a project.  We had a smaller than necessary chainsaw and a ski rope (we live on the lake, ski ropes are a staple).  After careful consideration that guy I live with determines that by applying pressure through a ski rope tied to another tree away from the house and a strategic wedge cut on the same side of the tree, we could control the fall of this fifty year old tree. 

Here’s where the abbreviation starts.  Things didn’t go the way we anticipated.  Our intelligent planning, careful predictions and great intentions left us in a panic and a monstrous tree threatening to collapse not only our home but one of the neighbor’s out buildings.  Now at this time our boys were young.  Tyler was likely ten, Levi maybe 6 and Stacey was only 2 or 3 years old.  We were in a situation.  The boys were no longer safe in the house.  I had to bring them outside, make sure they were a safe distance from whatever destruction was about to ensue, try to help that guy I live with manage ropes and chains and watch the boys.  I was not prepared for any of this.  It got scary.  

Fast forward to the end.  We had an old Ford Bronco that barely ran on its best days. Attached at the Bronco’s hitch we had the ski rope and chains that were also attached to the tree.  I am in the drivers seat.  My only instructions were, “at my word, go!” That guy I live with was hanging on the tight rope between the truck and the tree hoping to be enough downward force to redirect the tree.  Then he screams, “go!”  Chug, chug, chug.  The Bronco goes.  The tree fell hard to the ground barely missing the back of the Bronco.  That guy I live with ran to escape the falling hardwood.  

My first reaction is to take a quick inventory.  Are the boys safe?  I had told them to play on the old boat trailer sitting in the yard.  “Do not get off this boat trailer,” I remember telling them sternly.  Levi and Stacey are floating around the rails of the trailer without a care or concern for what was happening around them.  Trees are falling, Broncos that are never driven are suddenly in the backyard, ski ropes and chains and ladders and saws; as if they had not noticed.  They were innocently trusting.

But Tyler wasn’t with them.  He was supposed to be helping me watch them.  He was the oldest and old enough to know what grave danger they could be in.  He was aware of the panic in my voice when I brought them out of the house.  He understood this was not just another day in the lake life.  

Then I see him.  He was in the neighbor’s flower bed.  In the irises that bloom in early spring my child was kneeling before God.  

  

I responded to my friends midnight text, “For me it wasn’t courage, it was faith.”

When my courage fails me, when my intellect is insufficient, when my skills are lacking, and my tools  don’t qualify me, God is faithful.  

 

On my calendar 

I like to have something on my calendar to look forward to, to anticipate and plan for.  Without this I would have to find new ways to lose sleep at night. I have a countdown app on my smarter than me phone that I plug event dates and details into so that I can, at a glance, know what I should prioritize.  For instance I know that it is 86 days until Easter but I have to push that back in my mind because in 43 days I have a relaxing beach trip planned and in 21 days I have a weekend with my Ladies of the 80’s.  But in 55 days I will have a Day Adventure with some Christian Ladies.

I love to make plans.  Travel plans. Party plans.  Weekend plans.  I plot out the travel. The food in route and the food in celebration. The lodging down to who sleeps where and when. I plan the activities making sure we have tickets, that we know where to park, and we show up on time.  

Once we took a big family trip to California to go to Disneyland, Hollywood, Santa Monica pier and the beach.  These are only the highlights as there was so much more to see!  I arranged the flights, chose the seats, and bought a stroller for the two smallest grandchildren. I packed the snacks, printed the boarding passes, and tagged the luggage.  I rented the 15 passenger van that was our transportation for the week, booked the hotel rooms, and plotted the routes.  I scheduled the day plans, bought the entry tickets, and made sure everyone knew what shoes were appropriate for each day’s activities.  I even printed it all out in itinerary form highlighting pertinent information and details.  And yes, there was a PowerPoint presentation.

Then in a stroke of genius I thought it would be great to let my then grown children own part of the details.  I assigned each of them a day to make the lunch plans for all of us. They knew where we would be around lunch from the detailed agenda printed and provided as part of their travel packet.  They simply needed to find the day they were assigned, see where we would be and choose a restaurant from the neighboring area. 

I don’t think I could even begin to layout how this idea was an epic fail. We were never where I thought we would be when I thought we would be there. We didn’t know where we would be until we were there. We never knew what the parking would be or how long the walk was going to be.  And without exception we were starving long before we realized what we didn’t know.  

To this day we joke about the pizza place that my daughter in law, Melody, chose.  It was some trendy, vegan, hippie pizza with arugula and oil and “chicken”. I later learned that any time quotes are around a meat that it is not meat at all.  

We left there in our 15 passenger van hungrier than ever but laughing.  

Other fails of this trip included the suitcase mix up before we ever left Dallas leaving us to shop for clothes for Brian as soon as we arrived in California.  The van pickup site not being a walkable distance from the airport. This left most of us waiting at the airport while Brian and the others took a cab to go get the van. Small children were not happy with this situation.  The reservation at the hotel was a little messed up and the hotel was a good hour from the attractions we were there to see.  Tyler got out of the van in San Juan Capistrano, and backed into a loaded cactus with his shoulder.  You know that didn’t end well.  The stroller for the boys was too big for plane side check in.  The beach was beautiful but the water was so rough we could hardly walk into it.  My intentions were always good.

In my old King James Bible I always keep two things on page 1069. A love note from my oldest son, Tyler, and a picture of my youngest son, Stacey.  In my bible also on that page, I have highlighted Jeremiah 29:11 with a note that reads, “Levi’s first sermon 7/20/11”. These are all special to me in varied ways that I will not speak to just now. 

Jeremiah 29:11 is a well known, often repeated, frequently preached verse. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  Some bible versions use the word “plans” instead of “thoughts”.  I am no theologian; Hebrew is Greek to me, but if I understand correctly the word translated to “thoughts” in the KJV can be translated as “plans”, or “intentions” as well.  

Whichever translation you are comfortable with I think we can agree that God’s thoughts are active.  This is not a “Thinking of You” Hallmark card that He sends when I miss church or forget to pray.  I don’t simple pop in  and out of God’s mind randomly when a memory is triggered.  He chooses to think about me.  He is intentional.  He has a plan for me. 

Additionally, He thinks about me a lot.  In Psalms (40:5 and 139:17-18) it says His thoughts of me can not be counted.  They are innumerable. They are more than the sands of the sea.  I hate to derail a perfectly clear thought,but wow!  The omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God has thoughts, plans, and intentions for me that outnumber the grains of glasslike dirt that line the ocean floors and spill over onto the playgrounds of the ocean’s edge. 

If you were paying attention to the previous paragraphs you may have noticed that I didn’t type us as much as I typed me.  Although in our passage God was talking to the exiled Jews as a whole, He does not only extend thoughts towards us as a people or as a group, but as a person.  I am not a number to God.  He knows me personally and thinks of me individually.  In Psalms 139, David is speaking as an individual, not a people when he says, “How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!” (v17)

And the bow on top, the lipstick, the icing, the gravy, or whatever cliche’ you use for the bonus is His thoughts are good.  He wants good for me.  God is not against me.  He wants me to live in peace and hope.  His thoughts are precious. It says in Isaiah 55:8-9 that God doesn’t think the way I think.   I don’t understand His thoughts, His intentions, or His plans. Even when it seems He has lost track of me, or misplaced me, even when I feel unnoticed, and forgotten, I have to trust His heart.  I believe it was quoted of Charles Spurgeon, “God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken.  And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.”